Day 4... Another Hill

So yesterday I did not feel much like blogging after my doctor's appointment...

Fist off, my day started with me falling with my 10 mouth old in my arms. We are both ok thank god! I did however hurt my knee, which put a hold on my working out that night. I also had gained a pound from the day before, which sent me on a negative down hill spiral the rest of the day.

I was hoping to go to the doctor be told, "yep it is your weight that is causing all your problems, here is a pill." Wishful thinking.....It is not that easy I guess....Although my weight plays a part, it is not all of it.

I went to the doctor yesterday due to alot of problems I have had lately... She thinks I have polycystic ovarian sydrome or a thyroid problem... ( all my symptoms match pcos ).... We will know for sure when I get all my blood work back...but she sounded pretty sure...if I have pcos then infertility and weight gain are big issues from what I was told and read. Which saddens me because I want more children.. She also said it wil be 10x harder for me to loose weight then the average woman ( NOT what you want to hear when you are tyring to lose 78 pounds........)  She refuses to put me on a weight lose drug... I 'm not sure why?? Instead she said about 1000 calories a day and working out hard should do the trick... She said if it is my thyroid I will be on meds for the rest of my life but the good news is I would start losing weight once they get me straightened out... If both come back negative then it is back to the drawing board with another ultrasound...

After I left the doctor I sat in my car and cried for a minute and felt sorry for myself.... I felt like my dream of losing weight was slipping away. I left the doctor and came up on McDonadels...I wanted SO BADLY to pull in there...get a bag FULL of food and sit in my car and bing till I was sick ( I am a big emotional eater.) It took all I had to keep going....Instead I pulled into Subway.. I got a 12in. Chicken Teriaki and binged on that instead.. I did not eat super later that night, so I stayed in my 1000 calorie rang. Probably not the smartest choice I could have made, but not the worse... This is all a learning experience.

At first I was irrate that my doctor refused to put me on a weight lose pill....but after thinking about it I decided that WHEN I reach my goal, I need to be 10X prouder of myself because that is just one more struggle I over came and STILL succeeded!

I took the rest of the night to rest and think..I did not sleep much.

To be continued....